Finding a Balance

This week was a busy one. It's not surprising that I've been home on the couch with the stomach flu for the past 36 hours. Typical. I don't slow down so my body just sweeps me off my feet for a while. Happens every so often. A huge damper on the social events I had planned for the weekend. Happy birthday Chad! Even so, it doesn't mask my excitement about things going on at work.

I'm starting this blog for probably the same reason anyone else does. I have a lot to say and I'm looking for somewhere to say it. Usually I like to keep my personal life somewhat private, but writing things out isn't the same as telling them. There are no limits. So read on if you wish, or not. Completely up to you. It's the process of the act that I'm seeking.

Finding a Balance is the title today. There was a lot that came about this week; many new and exciting opportunities with my job, and my head is spinning with ideas. The problem: my mental eagerness (thoughts, ideas, and intentions) often out compete my physical and emotional strength. Hence the flu. No panic attacks or breakdowns though. I am getting stronger!

Where to start? Let's take the emotional side first. I just finished teaching a 9 day unit on cancer. I started piecing my thoughts together on the new unit back in November. I just felt that it was an important topic to address since cancer is the Black Plague of today. Where else would my students learn the cellular aspect of the disease and be equipped with the knowledge to understand it better, if not in Biology class? I figured almost every one of them probably knows someone who has dealt with the illness, and those who haven't at least know what it is. I had no idea back then what was in store for me this semester. To make a long story short, from start to finish I had four different students approach me privately to explain that one of their parents is currently battling cancer. Leukemia, liver cancer, brain tumor, lymphoma. How horrible that my 15 year old students have to experience such pain with people so close to them at such a crucial age of development. As if there aren't enough social pressures to keep their minds occupied from day to day. My heart breaks for them. It was by His grace that we all made it through that unit, but I'm determined now more than ever to improve the efficiency of the unit and continue teaching it from year to year.

Last week I received an email out of the blue inviting me to a Cancer Seminar next month. The one in California is being held at Santa Clara University. The organization sponsoring it received a grant to teach two different classes on the subject to high school instructors who want to incorporate it into their classrooms. Is it a coincidence that something so perfectly correlated to what I was doing at that exact time came my way? I think not. Since the program is grant funded, there is no cost to me other than traveling expenses. I signed up, told them my story, and was accepted. I'm really looking forward to it.

I received another email last week from one of our counselors about another seminar for GATE teachers. For those of you unaware, GATE stands for gifted and talented education. That is the level of the Biology course I teach. My academic challenge with them is keeping the high level achievers moving quickly enough through material to remain engaged. It's a daily battle. Anyway, this seminar teaches teachers how to do that and all kinds of tricks to improve curriculum. It sounds like a great course, but it's through UC Irvine and the cost of units I could earn from it are 4 times more expensive than what I have paid for units so far through USD, FPU, CSUF, and LMU. Besides that, it would also require quite a few extra hours of follow up work to earn just one unit. Although it's definitely not all about the unit gain, I can't quite justify joining when I have so many other things going on. Finding a Balance.

Third email this past week came from a representative at Fresno State. She said I've been identified by one of my administrators as a good candidate for their Masters in Leadership and Administration program. They're only accepting 18 candidates into the program. Since the university pairs up with my school district to foster better teachers and leaders, my cost for earning that particular masters degree would only be $2,500. That's incredible! The problem is that the program runs for 12 months from start to finish. It's 34 units with 15 class hours per unit plus field work. This year I'm coaching two sports, teaching two different classes, a member of the AVID site team, the adviser for Aquatics Club, and in my first year of BTSA course work. Next year will be similar. I fully intend to earn my masters degree and this program seems like a doorway that has opened right in front of me, but I just can't manage it at this time. I'm hoping to apply for the 2011-2012 class. Two years from now I could have my masters degree! The ideas make my head spin.

The final thing I have to say is about my administrators' plans for me next school year. The district is pushing to enroll more students in AP courses. I have mixed feelings about that, but at the end of the day what the district wants, the district gets. The best response is to go along with them and make it work to the best of my ability. So I've been approached four times now from an administrator about teaching an AP class next year. I haven't made the commitment yet, in fact up until this week I was pretty set on not doing it. Then I was told that my name keeps coming up in their conversations and that they've been told by my colleagues and by students that I should teach it. That was very rewarding to hear. I mentioned that I have some concerns about it and want to sit down with them to talk details. I still have one more year of BTSA and I love teaching both of my current classes. I don't want to give up either one of them, but I don't know if I could take on three different classes next year. Anyway, that's the latest dilemma. My administration has said that they will pay for all the training necessary to become AP certified. I guess they really want me to do it. It would be a great opportunity and it is a goal I had for myself since I first decided to pursue teaching. The perfectionist side of me just isn't sure yet that I'm qualified enough to do a good job. I have more thinking to do on that...

Well I suppose this is long enough. If you've made it this far, you must be quite a friend to listen so long. I'm going back to bed now. Pray that my stomach stops doing cartwheels. Have a fantastic day!