I just realized I only keep up with this during school. Is it that my life is only interesting when I work? I'm choosing to think that I just have a lot more weighing on my mind during the school year. It's easy to be carefree when you're only looking after yourself. Ah, it was a relaxing summer. :)
Tomorrow marks the end of three weeks back in school. Today was the third piece of student news I've been given this school year that broke my heart. I am kept in a continuous state of shock by how much students are willing to share about their personal lives. I am kept in a constant state of prayer by the sheer number of horrible things these poor kids experience. It's horrendous and yet amazing at what they go through, and what they overcome. Every day they walk in with smiles on their faces and leave knowing they're returning to a mountain they're forced to climb. If nothing else, I hope everyone who reads this takes a moment to count their blessings and appreciate even the smallest of things in life. Life is fleeting.
The first week of school ended with my second funeral since I started teaching. Last spring I attended a service for the father of one of my students who lost a long battle to cancer. That whole situation was hard and I'd hoped to never do it again. Two weeks ago I attended a service for one of my athletes who graduated only a year ago. I couldn't possibly explain that situation well enough to do it any justice here, nor do I think the story belongs in a blog. Let it rest with these few details: I went to the service expecting to be strong for all of my current students and athletes that were in attendance and devastated. Instead I ended up a sobbing mess myself. It was good to grieve for him and with them. I struggled a little bit to find the positive in the situation. What good could possibly come from the death of a 19 year old who had his whole life ahead of him? I have found comfort in two answers. The first is that it brought many of us closer together. Our sports team has always remained close-knit, both past and current members, but this brought us to a whole new level of family. The second is that I was reminded, on the deepest level, that life is short and every minute counts. So I am going to approach this year, not stressed about the details or worried about the unfinished to-do's, but taking advantage of every opportunity I have to show people how important they are to me. You never know when your time might be up. I don't want to leave with a single person wondering whether or not they were important to me. I'm going to do my best to live each day to its fullest. And that realization is going to keep my athlete alive in memory.
The second situation came the same night that I found out about the first one. It was a current student who was torn apart by the news. Grieving, without a parental figure to turn to for comfort, I became a confidante. Again, I don't feel comfortable sharing a story that doesn't belong to me but I will share some of my realizations from it. This is a student that I've seen almost five days a week for the duration of time I've been teaching; a student that comes to school every day with a smile, with sheer confidence in attitude and demeanor, and ready to work hard. This young adult outshines peers as a student and as an athlete. In two years I never once would have guessed that so much was going on behind the scenes. It's amazing to me that a teenage can be forced to deal with so much in personal issues and yet "appear" so "normal" on the outside. My heart broke all over again to know that story. I wanted to shake my fist to the air in frustration that life is so unfair at times. I have resolved to be the best that I can be for this student; the best teacher I can be, the best coach I can be, the best mentor I can be. The rest I will leave to prayer that life may be easier one day and that many valuable lessons will be learned, and eventually appreciated, from such trials.
That all started the eve of my birthday. Let's just say my birthday seemed like such a small matter this year compared to how I've ever viewed it before. I didn't even get excited about it. However, with all my new realizations I was very grateful to have it. How fortunate I am to turn another year older and have so many things to be thankful for!
Last week, in comparison, was an incredibly mellow five days of teaching. By the end, I was actually fool enough to think that I might have a normal school year moving forward. Instead, it was the emotional break I needed in order to recover from the first week and gear up for this one. Today I had a student approach me at the start of class and hand me something in writing. It was a homemade autobiography booklet that the student wanted to share with me. I read it the following period with hair standing on end. Why do these kids have to face such huge challenges? This student faces an incurable disease. The story was about receiving the news, personal thoughts and feelings about the situation, and struggles with "friends" finding out and proving to be a disappointment. A thousand thoughts were running through my mind; they still haven't stopped long enough to piece them all together. How am I supposed to react to such news as a teacher? Last year I took a head-on approach and created a unit on cancer because I feel that it's something a lot of people encounter and that it's my responsibility as an educator to provide my students with knowledge to understand it. Then I had three separate students break down about parents undergoing aggressive chemo treatments. I talked about nutrition and the value of balanced meals and I was sought out by a student battling bulimia. Do I find a way to incorporate this new topic into our curriculum this year? It's definitely possible, but is it in the best interest of the student? Do I have a role to play in this situation, or have I already fulfilled it?
How is it possible that so many kids have so many challenges going on in their lives? Is it normal for one teacher to encounter so many hurting students? I don't know how anyone goes into this profession without faith on their side. I can't imagine facing these students without hope in my heart for them.
I know this post seems negative and hopeless, but that's not my intention in writing it. These situations weigh heavy on my heart and it's nice to get the stories out. They affect me because I care about my kids, but they don't change me. I am growing into a stronger person because I'm doing life with them. I have come to realize how important the small things are and I have started taking time to appreciate them. I hope that you don't walk away sad and defeated, but instead lifted up and ready to face the challenge of making every minute count. Live your life to the fullest. Appreciate what you have. Tell others how you feel. Share your happiness. Be giving with your compliments. Smile. It's amazing how the small things can brighten any day.
To all my friends reading this- thank you for making a positive contribution to my life. I appreciate you more than you know.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Living with Character
If you had to list five characteristics of yourself, what would you say? Could you say them with certainty? Do you think they change throughout life? At what point can you really decide on five solid traits?
The actual growing up part of my life didn't start until college. I'd faced struggles before, but that was the first time in my life that I faced change completely on my own. I no longer had my parents by my side at the end of each day to step in if things outgrew what I thought I could manage. I had to figure it out. I no longer had my friends by my side, who I'd known for most of my life, who really knew me without having to ask questions. I was in a new world where questions were lined up at the door and I was standing there alone, without all the familiar things surrounding me that I had, for a lifetime at that point, identified with as making me, me. There was no one to hide behind or look to for answers. In college, I had to figure out the road alone.
I spent a lot of time in those short four years discovering who I was, then contemplating who I wanted to be, then modifying what I was, and finally just accepting the person I had been all along.
There are certain traits I have possessed through life as far back as I can remember. Those are the ones I resent from time to time and the ones I've tried, to no avail, to change. They are the traits that become my label no matter how many different groups of friends I make or how many different cities I live in. They make me me. At what point do we fully release any ideas of changing ourselves and just learn to love who we are?
I'm not saying I resent myself or the life that I live. Far from it; I think I've been incredibly blessed with a great life and I'm happy with the person I've become. But, there is that little spark inside me that never goes out; that spark that keeps me striving for more, keeps me standing in the road to change and keeps me looking for what's ahead. In my church there is a well known saying, "God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to keep you there." If that phrase doesn't speak to you then maybe you've heard this next one. It's a pretty popular quote- we even have it painted on the wall of our locker room at the pool. It states, "Shoot for the moon, even if you fall you'll land among the stars." Whether a natural instinct or a God-inspired drive, we all have that spark that keeps us working for more. We know we aren't perfect, we know we never will be, but we don't stop striving for it throughout our lives.
I've gone a little off track here but let me pull it all together. Think back to those five traits. Which of them are characteristics that really identify who you are? They make you you, clear down to the core. Maybe they're things that you've resented from time to time and tried to shake at various phases of life. Maybe they're things that you identified years ago and have learned to cherish through the good and the bad. Now separate them out. Which ones are genuine traits? I mean traits that would stick with you even if you were picked up this very second and dropped off in some other city, of some other country, on some other continent where you had to start all over from scratch. My life's journeys this far have taught me that no matter where you go and no matter who you do life with, those traits will find a way to shine through. I don't think that means we have to like them all the time, I sure resent mine on occasion, but we do have to recognize them as our own. For that fact, I think it's okay to work towards change and to allow that spark to burn. No matter what experiences life brings, no matter what goals we might set our hearts to, we don't really change all that much down at our core. It's our connection to our past and to each other as we live out our own paths of life.
So here's to us! May we learn to love the little details that make us who we are and may we cherish each other for them, even while we strive to grow.
The actual growing up part of my life didn't start until college. I'd faced struggles before, but that was the first time in my life that I faced change completely on my own. I no longer had my parents by my side at the end of each day to step in if things outgrew what I thought I could manage. I had to figure it out. I no longer had my friends by my side, who I'd known for most of my life, who really knew me without having to ask questions. I was in a new world where questions were lined up at the door and I was standing there alone, without all the familiar things surrounding me that I had, for a lifetime at that point, identified with as making me, me. There was no one to hide behind or look to for answers. In college, I had to figure out the road alone.
I spent a lot of time in those short four years discovering who I was, then contemplating who I wanted to be, then modifying what I was, and finally just accepting the person I had been all along.
There are certain traits I have possessed through life as far back as I can remember. Those are the ones I resent from time to time and the ones I've tried, to no avail, to change. They are the traits that become my label no matter how many different groups of friends I make or how many different cities I live in. They make me me. At what point do we fully release any ideas of changing ourselves and just learn to love who we are?
I'm not saying I resent myself or the life that I live. Far from it; I think I've been incredibly blessed with a great life and I'm happy with the person I've become. But, there is that little spark inside me that never goes out; that spark that keeps me striving for more, keeps me standing in the road to change and keeps me looking for what's ahead. In my church there is a well known saying, "God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to keep you there." If that phrase doesn't speak to you then maybe you've heard this next one. It's a pretty popular quote- we even have it painted on the wall of our locker room at the pool. It states, "Shoot for the moon, even if you fall you'll land among the stars." Whether a natural instinct or a God-inspired drive, we all have that spark that keeps us working for more. We know we aren't perfect, we know we never will be, but we don't stop striving for it throughout our lives.
I've gone a little off track here but let me pull it all together. Think back to those five traits. Which of them are characteristics that really identify who you are? They make you you, clear down to the core. Maybe they're things that you've resented from time to time and tried to shake at various phases of life. Maybe they're things that you identified years ago and have learned to cherish through the good and the bad. Now separate them out. Which ones are genuine traits? I mean traits that would stick with you even if you were picked up this very second and dropped off in some other city, of some other country, on some other continent where you had to start all over from scratch. My life's journeys this far have taught me that no matter where you go and no matter who you do life with, those traits will find a way to shine through. I don't think that means we have to like them all the time, I sure resent mine on occasion, but we do have to recognize them as our own. For that fact, I think it's okay to work towards change and to allow that spark to burn. No matter what experiences life brings, no matter what goals we might set our hearts to, we don't really change all that much down at our core. It's our connection to our past and to each other as we live out our own paths of life.
So here's to us! May we learn to love the little details that make us who we are and may we cherish each other for them, even while we strive to grow.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
I am so grateful for my mom- every day, but especially the day set aside for her when I really stop to reflect on what she means to me. She deserves it. It's funny how much we take for granted as children. Mom's are just doing their jobs. We're so quick to scream about it when things don't go our way and so blind to all the things that run perfectly; all because Mom was there planning, organizing, and doing. As a child I used to be naive enough to think that when I grew up I'd pay her back for everything she did for me. I can't believe all of the sacrifices she made for our family over the years and can't even fathom all of the ones I never knew about. I understand now, as an adult, that it's not about paying back but about paying forward. We take what we learn from our moms and re-invest it in the generations below us. And so the world turns. How blessed I am to have her as my mom. :)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Decisions
Today was finals for our league meet. Halfway through the meet they took a break for the coaches relay. Each team was supposed to participate. It was a medley which means four people each swam 50 yards- one for each of the four strokes. I took backstroke by default; no one else wanted to swim it. And I got killed. Did I mention I got killed? Ugh so embarrassing. I raced against three guys. One of them swims masters, meaning he goes to actual swim practice before work each morning. The other one is a dedicated gym member, workout plan and all, who has been practicing for today for weeks. The final one lives for swim. And I thought this was just something fun for our athletes. Oh man my stomach was in knots. I miss participating but oh how I had forgotten about how it gets to me. On the up side, I was also nervous about my athletes critiquing me after the fact. I've spent the last four months fine-tuning their strokes and today they all watched me. Luckily none of them said anything. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe they felt sorry for me since I lost. We'll see what comes out on Monday.
I need to get away from the high school world for a bit.
We have five more days of practice and then we head down for playoffs next Saturday. I'm having a lot of difficulty motivating my kids at this point in the season. I can't say I blame them. We've been at it since Feb 1st and swimming isn't exactly the most exciting sport. To make things worse, playoffs are the same day as prom. If getting them to compete for one more week was a difficult task, taking them out of town the morning and afternoon of prom for the last competition is almost impossible. I am so worn out of making them do things they don't want to and being the rule enforcer. I don't know how parents do what they do day in and day out, without an off season. Speaking of off season, water polo starts this week.
To coach or not to coach? I thought I'd made up my mind not to coach polo this upcoming season. My parents never believed it and the other coaches never accepted it. Guess the only one I had convinced was myself, but I've even changed my mind. I want to do it because I like being involved, I love the rush of the crazy schedule, I want to stick with my freshmen and be part of their growth, I want to continue to develop in the sport and be better at it this year, and I enjoy hanging out with the other coaches. I don't want to do it because it takes up so much of my time that I almost reach the point of going crazy. I'm afraid it takes too much away from my real job and I don't feel qualified enough to do it. If I don't coach I will have more time to develop my professional skills, to focus on my students, and to plan out swim season for next year (I'm not giving that up.) At the same time, it's mostly the same kids that participate in polo and swim. I would hate to make them feel like I'm giving up on them. I don't know what to do.
I went out of town last weekend with some amazing friends. It was the perfect weekend get-away. One conversation in particular brought up hobbies. In discussion, I realized I don't really have much to say about them anymore. I don't know what I do outside of teaching and coaching. Even my social life revolves around those two things now. That can't be healthy. So I'm in search of some hobbies. This summer I'm taking a break from teaching. I may or may not be taking a break from coaching (depending on what happens with polo) but even so it won't take up all my time. I need something new to shift my focus to. Any ideas? Suggestions welcomed. :)
I need to get away from the high school world for a bit.
We have five more days of practice and then we head down for playoffs next Saturday. I'm having a lot of difficulty motivating my kids at this point in the season. I can't say I blame them. We've been at it since Feb 1st and swimming isn't exactly the most exciting sport. To make things worse, playoffs are the same day as prom. If getting them to compete for one more week was a difficult task, taking them out of town the morning and afternoon of prom for the last competition is almost impossible. I am so worn out of making them do things they don't want to and being the rule enforcer. I don't know how parents do what they do day in and day out, without an off season. Speaking of off season, water polo starts this week.
To coach or not to coach? I thought I'd made up my mind not to coach polo this upcoming season. My parents never believed it and the other coaches never accepted it. Guess the only one I had convinced was myself, but I've even changed my mind. I want to do it because I like being involved, I love the rush of the crazy schedule, I want to stick with my freshmen and be part of their growth, I want to continue to develop in the sport and be better at it this year, and I enjoy hanging out with the other coaches. I don't want to do it because it takes up so much of my time that I almost reach the point of going crazy. I'm afraid it takes too much away from my real job and I don't feel qualified enough to do it. If I don't coach I will have more time to develop my professional skills, to focus on my students, and to plan out swim season for next year (I'm not giving that up.) At the same time, it's mostly the same kids that participate in polo and swim. I would hate to make them feel like I'm giving up on them. I don't know what to do.
I went out of town last weekend with some amazing friends. It was the perfect weekend get-away. One conversation in particular brought up hobbies. In discussion, I realized I don't really have much to say about them anymore. I don't know what I do outside of teaching and coaching. Even my social life revolves around those two things now. That can't be healthy. So I'm in search of some hobbies. This summer I'm taking a break from teaching. I may or may not be taking a break from coaching (depending on what happens with polo) but even so it won't take up all my time. I need something new to shift my focus to. Any ideas? Suggestions welcomed. :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A little of this, a little of that
I no longer wish to be a Medical Examiner. I just saw the Y-incision made on a corpse and realized it's more than I can handle. Darn, I thought dead bodies would be easier to work with than live ones. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to be insensitive to life, I'm simply fascinated with the medical field. Guess I should stick to invertebrate dissections for now.
Does anyone read Patricia Cornwell? I love her writing! They've now made movies from her novels. I recorded one last night but haven't watched it yet. I can't read the books at night because they freak me out so I haven't braved the movie just yet. I hate scary movies, but her novels are forensic mysteries that I can't put down. I must see for myself if the movie comes even close to measuring up. It's times like this when I get a little bit sad about living by myself. I'm a pretty realistic person (aside from my adventures) but how could I possibly watch something like that and then sleep through the night? Not very likely.
...
Last weekend I went to Santa Barbara to visit some friends. By the time I got back home I had my mind made up that I was going to move there for the summer and take some classes. I walked through the campus with a friend during my visit and was overwhelmed with a longing to be exposed to that academic environment again. It's amazing that I can be away from it for four years, but the second I step back onto campus I'm overcome with a yearning to submerse myself back into that culture. In theory I had it all worked out; the courses, the living situation, what to do about things here, how long it would last... For a week I kept the idea alive, and then I let it go. Who was I kidding? Just myself for a week's time. No matter how hard I try to keep myself from growing roots, little by little I'm getting tied down. I hate growing up.
Tomorrow is back to the grind. Working 60+ hours every week has finally taken its toll. Lately I begin and end my weeks just looking forward to the weekends. Is that what life is like? I know a lot of people can relate to that feeling, but I always promised myself I wouldn't be one of them. I wonder if it's just because I'm reaching the end of the year. A large part of me is excited to send my seniors out into the world. Man they're tough to deal with day after day at this point in the year. I'm pretty sure I was no different. On the most challenging days, I think back to what I must have put my teachers through and feel so sorry for them. This must be the punishment I deserve. Haha. Most of me is excited to send them out and to see what they become (okay and part of me is excited just to send them on to something new) but there's also part of me that gets a little bit sad when I think about it. For the handful of them who I have grown close to over the past two years, it's a bittersweet time to think that soon they will be moving on.
Friday night I went out to dinner with four sets of parents who have seniors currently in my classes, and one of the other coaches. Listening to the parents talk to each other about their kids and what kinds of changes this next year will bring to their family dynamics was quite touching, and also kind of sad. I don't think I could possibly get any closer to parenting without becoming one myself. I love my students. Every last one of them. But the more I teach, the more I wonder if the lifestyle that society expects of me is really the lifestyle that I want for myself. Do I have the energy it takes to commit to someone for a lifetime or to raise other lives for the rest of mine? Marriage and children is the happily ever after dream that every little girl aspires to, but the more grown up I become the less appeal it has. I'm just not sure.
...
In these next five days I have a staff meeting to train for testing, an AVID meeting to discuss certification, a BTSA meeting to wrap up strand 2 of my portfolio (including several reports I've yet to write), bible study, a swim meet, team pictures, a swim tournament, and three letters of recommendation to write. Lucky for me I ended up having to cancel the field trip to Monterey Bay Aquarium that was planned for tomorrow and Open House got moved from next Monday to next month. Next week, though, I have an awards banquet dinner to attend for one of my athletes, Club Lunch to coordinate with my team, timers to find and train for our only home swim meet of the season, Senior Day to plan (including gifts for all 15 of them), and three days of state testing to proctor. Heaven help us make it through April.
So. I'm in need of some fun time. For once I don't want to learn anything new. I don't want to be the mature, professional adult. I don't want to be the mom or the overachiever or take care of everyone else or even worry about tomorrow. For a short bit of time, somewhere between now and five days from now, I just want to have fun. What can I do this week that's all play and no work? Even if just for 30 minutes, I need to find something to look forward to in this long week ahead. Something that will make me smile and will stop my mind's wheels from turning 100mph, even if just for 30 minutes. Something that will make me laugh- long and hard. Stay tuned next weekend for an update on what I did to achieve this nonsense, but oh-so-important, new short term goal of mine. :)
This is me reporting out from the base of another 60 hour climb. Have a great week!
Does anyone read Patricia Cornwell? I love her writing! They've now made movies from her novels. I recorded one last night but haven't watched it yet. I can't read the books at night because they freak me out so I haven't braved the movie just yet. I hate scary movies, but her novels are forensic mysteries that I can't put down. I must see for myself if the movie comes even close to measuring up. It's times like this when I get a little bit sad about living by myself. I'm a pretty realistic person (aside from my adventures) but how could I possibly watch something like that and then sleep through the night? Not very likely.
...
Last weekend I went to Santa Barbara to visit some friends. By the time I got back home I had my mind made up that I was going to move there for the summer and take some classes. I walked through the campus with a friend during my visit and was overwhelmed with a longing to be exposed to that academic environment again. It's amazing that I can be away from it for four years, but the second I step back onto campus I'm overcome with a yearning to submerse myself back into that culture. In theory I had it all worked out; the courses, the living situation, what to do about things here, how long it would last... For a week I kept the idea alive, and then I let it go. Who was I kidding? Just myself for a week's time. No matter how hard I try to keep myself from growing roots, little by little I'm getting tied down. I hate growing up.
Tomorrow is back to the grind. Working 60+ hours every week has finally taken its toll. Lately I begin and end my weeks just looking forward to the weekends. Is that what life is like? I know a lot of people can relate to that feeling, but I always promised myself I wouldn't be one of them. I wonder if it's just because I'm reaching the end of the year. A large part of me is excited to send my seniors out into the world. Man they're tough to deal with day after day at this point in the year. I'm pretty sure I was no different. On the most challenging days, I think back to what I must have put my teachers through and feel so sorry for them. This must be the punishment I deserve. Haha. Most of me is excited to send them out and to see what they become (okay and part of me is excited just to send them on to something new) but there's also part of me that gets a little bit sad when I think about it. For the handful of them who I have grown close to over the past two years, it's a bittersweet time to think that soon they will be moving on.
Friday night I went out to dinner with four sets of parents who have seniors currently in my classes, and one of the other coaches. Listening to the parents talk to each other about their kids and what kinds of changes this next year will bring to their family dynamics was quite touching, and also kind of sad. I don't think I could possibly get any closer to parenting without becoming one myself. I love my students. Every last one of them. But the more I teach, the more I wonder if the lifestyle that society expects of me is really the lifestyle that I want for myself. Do I have the energy it takes to commit to someone for a lifetime or to raise other lives for the rest of mine? Marriage and children is the happily ever after dream that every little girl aspires to, but the more grown up I become the less appeal it has. I'm just not sure.
...
In these next five days I have a staff meeting to train for testing, an AVID meeting to discuss certification, a BTSA meeting to wrap up strand 2 of my portfolio (including several reports I've yet to write), bible study, a swim meet, team pictures, a swim tournament, and three letters of recommendation to write. Lucky for me I ended up having to cancel the field trip to Monterey Bay Aquarium that was planned for tomorrow and Open House got moved from next Monday to next month. Next week, though, I have an awards banquet dinner to attend for one of my athletes, Club Lunch to coordinate with my team, timers to find and train for our only home swim meet of the season, Senior Day to plan (including gifts for all 15 of them), and three days of state testing to proctor. Heaven help us make it through April.
So. I'm in need of some fun time. For once I don't want to learn anything new. I don't want to be the mature, professional adult. I don't want to be the mom or the overachiever or take care of everyone else or even worry about tomorrow. For a short bit of time, somewhere between now and five days from now, I just want to have fun. What can I do this week that's all play and no work? Even if just for 30 minutes, I need to find something to look forward to in this long week ahead. Something that will make me smile and will stop my mind's wheels from turning 100mph, even if just for 30 minutes. Something that will make me laugh- long and hard. Stay tuned next weekend for an update on what I did to achieve this nonsense, but oh-so-important, new short term goal of mine. :)
This is me reporting out from the base of another 60 hour climb. Have a great week!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Busy
Have you ever been given a book that you just put up on a shelf? Months or even years later you pick it up and open to a random page, maybe for the first time. To your surprise, the book speaks directly to something current in your life. Have you ever been surprised by the "coincidence" of that occurrence?
I have.
Today I picked up a book called, "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell. He's very inspirational but I'd never taken the time to look at this book until today. It was a gift from my college when I graduated with my credential. Motivational writing is so encouraging, but it's not the kind of reading you sit down and read cover to cover. This book is no different. It's great to pick up and read a page or two at a time for a quick pick-me-up. Anyway, curiosity got the best of me today and as I thumbed through the pages I stumbled upon a quote I really enjoyed. "Problems are wake-up calls for creativity." Isn't that amazing?!
I've been suffering from a bad attitude lately. It's a combination of being too busy and a realization that about a third of my students are far below the expectations I have for them. To me, that's incredibly discouraging. Should I lower my bar? No! Have I? Yes. That's the discouraging part. I need to get creative. Lately it has felt like defeat and I've allowed it to get the best of me. However, now I'm on spring break with a week to refresh and the wheels are spinning with new ideas. I have to get past this crabby outlook and get back to being a motivated person.
So. I have a multitude of new opportunities that have presented themselves lately. I have also learned the hard way that I am not superwoman and can physically, mentally, and emotionally only juggle so many things at once. I would like to write an overview of some of the things at the top of the list. Anyone who takes the time to read this, I would definitely value your perspective and your prayers.
I am going to AP training for a week this summer to become certified to teach an AP course. I spoke to my principal about it and was assured that I won't be thrown into that position next year. He said he wants me to train now, while the district is willing to sponsor it, so that I am ready down the line. Check one.
He also asked me if I would be willing to teach an original credit Biology GATE course this summer. It would be accelerated- two weeks, fourteen days, six hours each day, one class. And then a second time. I think it's a crazy idea and turned it down. Check two. I'm honored that he believes in me enough to ask me to take it on, but there's just too much information to learn in a semester's worth of general biology and I don't think it's wise for 13-14 year old kids to try to learn it in two weeks. I also don't think it's practical for us, as adults, to think they will remember any of it after it has been crammed into their heads. And for once, I know for a fact that I cannot possibly keep up on grading 84 hours worth of class work in two weeks. Currently I have three boxes of lab notebooks and a six inch stack of loose papers sitting in my home office waiting to be graded. Ouch.
Last summer I was sent to the AVID training for a week, which landed me a position on the AVID site team as a core teacher. They need me on the paperwork in order to be certified in AVID. That has basically meant a lunch time meeting once a month throughout the school year. Last week there were two meetings and after break there is an official one with some of the county advisers. It's not a big deal. I like the other teachers that I'm on the team with and I've learned some great strategies from the program that have benefited my classroom. However, I was told last week that my name keeps coming up as a potential elective teacher next year. That would mean I would teach an AVID class for one period. Again, I'm honored that they have so much faith in me, but I don't want it. While I think AVID is an amazing program and fully support what it's doing, I want to move up in intellectual level and AVID would not send me down that path. There is another teacher in my department who loves the program and really wants the position. I've done my best to bring attention to her, with hope that she will get it. Check three.
Last semester I coached water polo. I played in middle and high school, so I know the sport, but throughout the season I never felt confident enough to be coaching it. We had a poor season with mostly loses, but my lack of coaching experience coupled with the fact we barely had enough boys to make a team and almost all of them were first time freshman players- I don't think anyone expected much. They grew a lot through the season and I'm still extremely proud of them but I've informed the other coaches that I'm not coaching this next school year. They haven't accepted my resignation yet and I'm already starting to have second thoughts about it. Ahhh why do I do this to myself? I love it, but during season I get so burned out. Polo season means 12 hour minimum work days plus tournaments almost every Saturday. It's no wonder we're like a family by the end of the three month season. Check... three and a half.
Right now I'm in the middle of swim season. I was given a head coach position this year. I love it and I definitely have confidence in it (We had our first league meet last week and both varsity teams won!) but the time commitment is no different. This is partly the reason for my grumpiness these past few weeks. Two weeks ago I worked 70 hours. Last week was 60. I'm tired. Thank you spring break for your eagerly anticipated arrival! Any of you who think teachers have too much time off- I've already worked over 40 hours/week for the month of March. We're even. Anyway, this isn't really an opportunity since it's already underway. I just need to figure out how to maximize my time even more so that I can catch up and then stay caught up on everything. Do you have any ideas? Check four.
The district has hired an outside consultant, who they assigned to my school. My principal assigned her to my department chair and me. Her job is to connect us with community resources to enrich our science program. My principal wants us to amp up (no pun intended) our department and he thinks my department chair and myself can make it happen. He told us to think big and not to limit ourselves. It's amazing and I only wish I had the time necessary to work with her to pull it off. We haven't even been able to schedule a meeting between the three of us over the past four weeks. My principal agreed to provide us with subs for a day so that we would have the time needed to plan. I just need to work it out with my calendar to figure out when I could leave my students without compromising the pace of my units. So much strategy! Our latest idea is something along the lines of "The Biggest Loser" which would focus on physiology, but also tie in with nutrition and then present it in competition form to encourage students to take action. The ideas are great, but we have a ton of work to do to pull it off. It's very exciting! Check five.
My department chair and I have also been discussing, over the past several months, ideas for starting some sort of science club. Sounds nerdy, I know, but hear me out. There are a ton more things we wish we could do with/expose our students to but we have a lack of time and resources. Starting a club would eliminate students who aren't interested and open up more possibilities like field trips and guest speakers, without competing for classroom minutes (which are carefully correlated to state testing). Through a club we could connect with community organizations and expose our students to things on a broader scale, and at a higher level. It might open up interning opportunities and would definitely provide them with skills in business relations. As the advisers, we would figure out where the majority interests lie and then we'd already have community resources in place, to then align with our classroom lessons. It sounds perfect, we just have to pull it off. Perhaps a summer of planning will help. Check six.
I have one more idea that is currently in the making. It involves one of my classes and my desperate attempt to improve what I feel like is a failed year. I don't think I can really go into details over the internet on this but it has been a challenging year and a direct tie to my bad moods lately. Anyway, in a couple of weeks we will be taking our second field trip. I can't be blamed for not trying. I am also working on a big end of the year project. More on that once I have more of the details in place. Check seven.
So, this is my life. Maybe I get myself into too many things at once. Maybe my intentions are better than my products. Maybe I'm crazy. Definitely the last one. The point is, I've been incredibly blessed to have so many opportunities cross my path. Now it is time for me to learn how to make choices and to say no. I'm working on accepting that I can't do everything. Oh but I want to!
PS- Here's another quote that I liked from my book:
"The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top." -Joyce Brothers
I have.
Today I picked up a book called, "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell. He's very inspirational but I'd never taken the time to look at this book until today. It was a gift from my college when I graduated with my credential. Motivational writing is so encouraging, but it's not the kind of reading you sit down and read cover to cover. This book is no different. It's great to pick up and read a page or two at a time for a quick pick-me-up. Anyway, curiosity got the best of me today and as I thumbed through the pages I stumbled upon a quote I really enjoyed. "Problems are wake-up calls for creativity." Isn't that amazing?!
I've been suffering from a bad attitude lately. It's a combination of being too busy and a realization that about a third of my students are far below the expectations I have for them. To me, that's incredibly discouraging. Should I lower my bar? No! Have I? Yes. That's the discouraging part. I need to get creative. Lately it has felt like defeat and I've allowed it to get the best of me. However, now I'm on spring break with a week to refresh and the wheels are spinning with new ideas. I have to get past this crabby outlook and get back to being a motivated person.
So. I have a multitude of new opportunities that have presented themselves lately. I have also learned the hard way that I am not superwoman and can physically, mentally, and emotionally only juggle so many things at once. I would like to write an overview of some of the things at the top of the list. Anyone who takes the time to read this, I would definitely value your perspective and your prayers.
I am going to AP training for a week this summer to become certified to teach an AP course. I spoke to my principal about it and was assured that I won't be thrown into that position next year. He said he wants me to train now, while the district is willing to sponsor it, so that I am ready down the line. Check one.
He also asked me if I would be willing to teach an original credit Biology GATE course this summer. It would be accelerated- two weeks, fourteen days, six hours each day, one class. And then a second time. I think it's a crazy idea and turned it down. Check two. I'm honored that he believes in me enough to ask me to take it on, but there's just too much information to learn in a semester's worth of general biology and I don't think it's wise for 13-14 year old kids to try to learn it in two weeks. I also don't think it's practical for us, as adults, to think they will remember any of it after it has been crammed into their heads. And for once, I know for a fact that I cannot possibly keep up on grading 84 hours worth of class work in two weeks. Currently I have three boxes of lab notebooks and a six inch stack of loose papers sitting in my home office waiting to be graded. Ouch.
Last summer I was sent to the AVID training for a week, which landed me a position on the AVID site team as a core teacher. They need me on the paperwork in order to be certified in AVID. That has basically meant a lunch time meeting once a month throughout the school year. Last week there were two meetings and after break there is an official one with some of the county advisers. It's not a big deal. I like the other teachers that I'm on the team with and I've learned some great strategies from the program that have benefited my classroom. However, I was told last week that my name keeps coming up as a potential elective teacher next year. That would mean I would teach an AVID class for one period. Again, I'm honored that they have so much faith in me, but I don't want it. While I think AVID is an amazing program and fully support what it's doing, I want to move up in intellectual level and AVID would not send me down that path. There is another teacher in my department who loves the program and really wants the position. I've done my best to bring attention to her, with hope that she will get it. Check three.
Last semester I coached water polo. I played in middle and high school, so I know the sport, but throughout the season I never felt confident enough to be coaching it. We had a poor season with mostly loses, but my lack of coaching experience coupled with the fact we barely had enough boys to make a team and almost all of them were first time freshman players- I don't think anyone expected much. They grew a lot through the season and I'm still extremely proud of them but I've informed the other coaches that I'm not coaching this next school year. They haven't accepted my resignation yet and I'm already starting to have second thoughts about it. Ahhh why do I do this to myself? I love it, but during season I get so burned out. Polo season means 12 hour minimum work days plus tournaments almost every Saturday. It's no wonder we're like a family by the end of the three month season. Check... three and a half.
Right now I'm in the middle of swim season. I was given a head coach position this year. I love it and I definitely have confidence in it (We had our first league meet last week and both varsity teams won!) but the time commitment is no different. This is partly the reason for my grumpiness these past few weeks. Two weeks ago I worked 70 hours. Last week was 60. I'm tired. Thank you spring break for your eagerly anticipated arrival! Any of you who think teachers have too much time off- I've already worked over 40 hours/week for the month of March. We're even. Anyway, this isn't really an opportunity since it's already underway. I just need to figure out how to maximize my time even more so that I can catch up and then stay caught up on everything. Do you have any ideas? Check four.
The district has hired an outside consultant, who they assigned to my school. My principal assigned her to my department chair and me. Her job is to connect us with community resources to enrich our science program. My principal wants us to amp up (no pun intended) our department and he thinks my department chair and myself can make it happen. He told us to think big and not to limit ourselves. It's amazing and I only wish I had the time necessary to work with her to pull it off. We haven't even been able to schedule a meeting between the three of us over the past four weeks. My principal agreed to provide us with subs for a day so that we would have the time needed to plan. I just need to work it out with my calendar to figure out when I could leave my students without compromising the pace of my units. So much strategy! Our latest idea is something along the lines of "The Biggest Loser" which would focus on physiology, but also tie in with nutrition and then present it in competition form to encourage students to take action. The ideas are great, but we have a ton of work to do to pull it off. It's very exciting! Check five.
My department chair and I have also been discussing, over the past several months, ideas for starting some sort of science club. Sounds nerdy, I know, but hear me out. There are a ton more things we wish we could do with/expose our students to but we have a lack of time and resources. Starting a club would eliminate students who aren't interested and open up more possibilities like field trips and guest speakers, without competing for classroom minutes (which are carefully correlated to state testing). Through a club we could connect with community organizations and expose our students to things on a broader scale, and at a higher level. It might open up interning opportunities and would definitely provide them with skills in business relations. As the advisers, we would figure out where the majority interests lie and then we'd already have community resources in place, to then align with our classroom lessons. It sounds perfect, we just have to pull it off. Perhaps a summer of planning will help. Check six.
I have one more idea that is currently in the making. It involves one of my classes and my desperate attempt to improve what I feel like is a failed year. I don't think I can really go into details over the internet on this but it has been a challenging year and a direct tie to my bad moods lately. Anyway, in a couple of weeks we will be taking our second field trip. I can't be blamed for not trying. I am also working on a big end of the year project. More on that once I have more of the details in place. Check seven.
So, this is my life. Maybe I get myself into too many things at once. Maybe my intentions are better than my products. Maybe I'm crazy. Definitely the last one. The point is, I've been incredibly blessed to have so many opportunities cross my path. Now it is time for me to learn how to make choices and to say no. I'm working on accepting that I can't do everything. Oh but I want to!
PS- Here's another quote that I liked from my book:
"The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top." -Joyce Brothers
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Dream
Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? As a young child I mean. Not the realistic "dream" you figured out when you were a "kid" in college, but the wildly, daring, unlimited, unimaginable dream you had for yourself when you were small enough to believe anything was possible. I wanted to be a marine biologist from the time I was eight. I had it all figured out and I pursued that clear up through my bachelors degree. It started out innocent, but it was my reality "dream" job that actually came true until I realized one day I had changed my mind. Parallel to that, through all of those years, I also wanted to be a writer. My teachers were supportive, providing ample opportunities for story writing. It's embarrassing now to look back over the ones my mom saved for me. Funny how most of my main characters ended up as dolphins and whales and sea anemones and sharks. Children see no limits. I wanted two things and I found a way to make them both happen. Of course my parents were supportive too. Besides saving my work, they enrolled me in a creative writing class, they bought me journal after journal and limitless supplies of paper and pencils and markers and what not. They fed my ego through school and they kept me going throughout the summer months. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that. Somewhere along the way life happened and, as we all know the inevitable, I grew up.
Would you say it's intuitive that we all strive for success? Is it ingrained in all of us or is it a character trait of some of us? Do we all want to be the best we can be; willing to work hard to get there? I don't know, but I know it's true for me. I miss the college realm; of being surrounded every day by academics. I miss the belief that anything is possible and the feeling of no fear in the face of a mountain. I miss my college friends who maintained those same beliefs right beside me, who celebrated my victories and shared theirs with me- leaping at opportunities and calculating the jump from midair. I miss that perfect world where society's expectations couldn't touch us, couldn't box us in and force us to move in the same direction as everyone else.
I should be happy that things are taking flight and that the goals I had for myself are happening faster than I had anticipated. Why then is my excitement replaced by anxiety? Why am I not ecstatic that new doors are opening right in front of me? Why don't I feel as confident on the inside as what I apparently portray on the outside?
I've been thinking a lot about all of this and I've decided it comes down to Change. People have told me before that I don't do well with Change. I always disagreed. I have myself convinced that I love Change and that I seek it out to keep life interesting. Now I know that both are true. I do enjoy it- when I seek it out. I do love it- when I'm in control of when and how it works. My life is perfectly calculated and when I anticipate those Changes- their costs their benefits their steps- I welcome them with open arms. It's in the times when Change smacks me in the face that I tend to fall apart. Don't we all? It's that feeling of wanting to duck, but acting too late. You end up with a fat lip or a bloody nose and that's all you have to show for it until you heal. It's not until after you've picked yourself up and moved on that you can show off the scar as something to be proud of; something you've overcome. Ask me, I have one or two.
And so I'm walking into Change yet again; ready to do battle, ready to take on new scars for the blows it throws me that I can't yet see coming. I'm walking in so that it hits me in the face rather than the back. I want to see the scars.
The ocean is a world I can understand. In that realm, the animals with the biggest scars are the ones who have the most experience. They've been around a while, they've gone places that others haven't, they've done things that others won't. That's what I want. If scars represent overcoming fear of the unknown and stretching oneself to the limit, if they mean breaking free of the boundaries set upon us by society's expectations, then that's what I want. I'm tired but I'm ready for the fight. Who decided that as adults, we have to stop dreaming?
Would you say it's intuitive that we all strive for success? Is it ingrained in all of us or is it a character trait of some of us? Do we all want to be the best we can be; willing to work hard to get there? I don't know, but I know it's true for me. I miss the college realm; of being surrounded every day by academics. I miss the belief that anything is possible and the feeling of no fear in the face of a mountain. I miss my college friends who maintained those same beliefs right beside me, who celebrated my victories and shared theirs with me- leaping at opportunities and calculating the jump from midair. I miss that perfect world where society's expectations couldn't touch us, couldn't box us in and force us to move in the same direction as everyone else.
I should be happy that things are taking flight and that the goals I had for myself are happening faster than I had anticipated. Why then is my excitement replaced by anxiety? Why am I not ecstatic that new doors are opening right in front of me? Why don't I feel as confident on the inside as what I apparently portray on the outside?
I've been thinking a lot about all of this and I've decided it comes down to Change. People have told me before that I don't do well with Change. I always disagreed. I have myself convinced that I love Change and that I seek it out to keep life interesting. Now I know that both are true. I do enjoy it- when I seek it out. I do love it- when I'm in control of when and how it works. My life is perfectly calculated and when I anticipate those Changes- their costs their benefits their steps- I welcome them with open arms. It's in the times when Change smacks me in the face that I tend to fall apart. Don't we all? It's that feeling of wanting to duck, but acting too late. You end up with a fat lip or a bloody nose and that's all you have to show for it until you heal. It's not until after you've picked yourself up and moved on that you can show off the scar as something to be proud of; something you've overcome. Ask me, I have one or two.
And so I'm walking into Change yet again; ready to do battle, ready to take on new scars for the blows it throws me that I can't yet see coming. I'm walking in so that it hits me in the face rather than the back. I want to see the scars.
The ocean is a world I can understand. In that realm, the animals with the biggest scars are the ones who have the most experience. They've been around a while, they've gone places that others haven't, they've done things that others won't. That's what I want. If scars represent overcoming fear of the unknown and stretching oneself to the limit, if they mean breaking free of the boundaries set upon us by society's expectations, then that's what I want. I'm tired but I'm ready for the fight. Who decided that as adults, we have to stop dreaming?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Take the Time
This one should be short and sweet. With tomorrow starting off a new week I just want to encourage anyone reading this to slow down a little bit and take the time.
Take the time to notice the people that walk past you. Take the time to recognize when a friend is in need. Take the time to congratulate a job well done. Take the time to appreciate the people who have touched your life. Take the time to acknowledge the impact you could have on others. Life is fast, don't let it pass you by.
Two things happened this week that brought this to mind. The first was a student survey I had to administer. I browsed over some of the questions and was surprised to find about eight of them that read, "At this school there is at least one teacher... who really cares about me, who notices when I'm absent, who has told me that I did a good job, who believes I can succeed..." It was a huge wake up call that I need to be doing a better job expressing those things to my students. I do really care about them. Do they all know that? Do the people in your life know how much you care?
The second incident was with a student at the end of class. I asked if she was ok. She wanted to know why I asked and I said that she looked like she wasn't feeling well. She smiled, explained her symptoms, and then mentioned that I always know when something's wrong with her. I asked if it was a bad thing to which she replied, "No, it's just that no one else ever notices, but you always do." Please don't be fooled. I'm not a perfect person. For every kid I notice, I'm sure there are five that I pass right by. This situation was a quiet reminder to work towards improvement.
How encouraging to know that one simple comment to acknowledge someone can impact the outcome of their day! Let's promise to notice those around us. Let's not go through the motions of our days, getting so wrapped up in our agendas that we forget the lives around us. How simple it is to notice, yet how special it is to be noticed.
Have a great week!
Take the time to notice the people that walk past you. Take the time to recognize when a friend is in need. Take the time to congratulate a job well done. Take the time to appreciate the people who have touched your life. Take the time to acknowledge the impact you could have on others. Life is fast, don't let it pass you by.
Two things happened this week that brought this to mind. The first was a student survey I had to administer. I browsed over some of the questions and was surprised to find about eight of them that read, "At this school there is at least one teacher... who really cares about me, who notices when I'm absent, who has told me that I did a good job, who believes I can succeed..." It was a huge wake up call that I need to be doing a better job expressing those things to my students. I do really care about them. Do they all know that? Do the people in your life know how much you care?
The second incident was with a student at the end of class. I asked if she was ok. She wanted to know why I asked and I said that she looked like she wasn't feeling well. She smiled, explained her symptoms, and then mentioned that I always know when something's wrong with her. I asked if it was a bad thing to which she replied, "No, it's just that no one else ever notices, but you always do." Please don't be fooled. I'm not a perfect person. For every kid I notice, I'm sure there are five that I pass right by. This situation was a quiet reminder to work towards improvement.
How encouraging to know that one simple comment to acknowledge someone can impact the outcome of their day! Let's promise to notice those around us. Let's not go through the motions of our days, getting so wrapped up in our agendas that we forget the lives around us. How simple it is to notice, yet how special it is to be noticed.
Have a great week!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Gross
After two weeks I broke down and ordered cable. Last night was my first viewing. I found a show on Discovery called, "Nasty by Nature" and my goodness it was gross. It showed disgusting characteristics of all kinds of animals and then explained the purpose behind their behavior. It was pretty amazing to see how nature handles problems but a very different perspective on cool. Let me share...
The Hagfish. (This one doesn't seem so gross, maybe because it's in the ocean. Thought it would be a good starting place.) It looks like a primitive eel but it's actually a fish. It has no eyes, no jaws and feeds off corpses of whatever falls to the ocean floor. It has small white holes lining the sides of its body where, when being pursued by a predator, it can secrete a protein that reacts with the water to create a gooey slime. The predator gets a mouthful of slime and the hagfish slithers away. The slime is so thick and so gooey that predators can actually suffocate from it. Incredible line of defense! **
The Botfly. This fly captures a mosquito to lay her eggs. When the mosquito is released it carries on with business and bites its prey (horse, cow, pig, dog... human). As the mosquito lands, body heat resonating from the mammal causes the botfly egg to hatch and the larva then transfers to its new host. It burrows down under the skin into the soft tissue (where the "meat" isn't so tough) and begins eating. From the surface you can only see a small hole at first; the breathing hole for the larva. As time goes on and the larva gets bigger, a bump begins to form on the skin surface. The way it was described sounds kind of like a mosquito bite, except quite painful. Eventually, if the larva isn't removed, it will mature to the point that it crawls out on its own. By then, it drops off the body and is ready to proceed to the next step of metamorphosis. Pretty gross. Google it.
The Turkey Vulture. We all know what a vulture is so I'll spare the details on that. The difference with this one is that it lives out in the desert where temperatures range from 30 degrees-130 degrees and it doesn't have the ability to sweat. In order to regulate its body temperature on a hot day, it defecates on itself. The feces is a white runny liquid that pours down the sides of its legs. When the wind comes it cools the body temperature of the bird down by 20 degrees! Incredibly disgusting but pretty ingenious. I guess when you consider what they're eating, the fact that they "poop themselves" isn't quite as gross.
Nature is quite inventive.
**My field of study is interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is for the potential of discovery. There are a lot of animals in the ocean that are still quite mysterious to us. Many researchers study these organisms to determine potential uses for the products they naturally create. The hagfish is one of them. They are currently being studied for the slime they produce. I mentioned earlier that it's made of protein. Not surprising. Many of the structures we make naturally are comprised of protein as well. Anyway, on a commercial level there is thought about marketing the hagfish slime as an alternative to egg whites. Imagine a breakfast of toast and hagfish slime. :) The slime though, in addition to being made of protein, can withstand pressure up to 200% before breaking. It is comparable to spider silk and being explored for the possibility of replacing other synthetic fibers in things such as bullet proof vests.
If that interests you, look into transgenic organisms and the possibility of harvesting this slime in animals that are easier for us to handle. For example, scientists have extracted the gene from spiders that enable them to spin silk and transferred the gene into goats. You end up with a goat able to produce spider silk- not by spinning webs though. Scientists extract the silk from the goat's milk. Not only is it easier to obtain, but they can produce more of it. It's still a fairly new field. More on that another day...
The Hagfish. (This one doesn't seem so gross, maybe because it's in the ocean. Thought it would be a good starting place.) It looks like a primitive eel but it's actually a fish. It has no eyes, no jaws and feeds off corpses of whatever falls to the ocean floor. It has small white holes lining the sides of its body where, when being pursued by a predator, it can secrete a protein that reacts with the water to create a gooey slime. The predator gets a mouthful of slime and the hagfish slithers away. The slime is so thick and so gooey that predators can actually suffocate from it. Incredible line of defense! **
The Botfly. This fly captures a mosquito to lay her eggs. When the mosquito is released it carries on with business and bites its prey (horse, cow, pig, dog... human). As the mosquito lands, body heat resonating from the mammal causes the botfly egg to hatch and the larva then transfers to its new host. It burrows down under the skin into the soft tissue (where the "meat" isn't so tough) and begins eating. From the surface you can only see a small hole at first; the breathing hole for the larva. As time goes on and the larva gets bigger, a bump begins to form on the skin surface. The way it was described sounds kind of like a mosquito bite, except quite painful. Eventually, if the larva isn't removed, it will mature to the point that it crawls out on its own. By then, it drops off the body and is ready to proceed to the next step of metamorphosis. Pretty gross. Google it.
The Turkey Vulture. We all know what a vulture is so I'll spare the details on that. The difference with this one is that it lives out in the desert where temperatures range from 30 degrees-130 degrees and it doesn't have the ability to sweat. In order to regulate its body temperature on a hot day, it defecates on itself. The feces is a white runny liquid that pours down the sides of its legs. When the wind comes it cools the body temperature of the bird down by 20 degrees! Incredibly disgusting but pretty ingenious. I guess when you consider what they're eating, the fact that they "poop themselves" isn't quite as gross.
Nature is quite inventive.
**My field of study is interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is for the potential of discovery. There are a lot of animals in the ocean that are still quite mysterious to us. Many researchers study these organisms to determine potential uses for the products they naturally create. The hagfish is one of them. They are currently being studied for the slime they produce. I mentioned earlier that it's made of protein. Not surprising. Many of the structures we make naturally are comprised of protein as well. Anyway, on a commercial level there is thought about marketing the hagfish slime as an alternative to egg whites. Imagine a breakfast of toast and hagfish slime. :) The slime though, in addition to being made of protein, can withstand pressure up to 200% before breaking. It is comparable to spider silk and being explored for the possibility of replacing other synthetic fibers in things such as bullet proof vests.
If that interests you, look into transgenic organisms and the possibility of harvesting this slime in animals that are easier for us to handle. For example, scientists have extracted the gene from spiders that enable them to spin silk and transferred the gene into goats. You end up with a goat able to produce spider silk- not by spinning webs though. Scientists extract the silk from the goat's milk. Not only is it easier to obtain, but they can produce more of it. It's still a fairly new field. More on that another day...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
One Tiger, Many Stripes
This blog has been misnamed. It should be Week to Week Living. It was brought to my attention that I haven't posted for a while. Have I been getting in my 10K words a day? I assure you I have. :) Work days consist of more words than that, I'm almost certain. The first couple of days back this week were a bit challenging. Though my body returned to work, my voice remained on vacation. Frustration is inevitable when you're standing in front of 40 teenagers and they can't hear your instructions. But, I've been blessed with compassionate students and they tried extra hard to sit in complete silence while those in the front conveyed my messages. Several of them even wished me better health throughout the day. I could have found myself in a room completely out of control without the means to gain any. Instead it was as if they were trying to take care of me. High fives to all of their parents for raising such great kids.
This was week two of swim season. We've had 24 kids out at practice consistently. There are almost 60 names on my roster of students who have told me they want to join. Where are the rest of them? I have a handful who are still finishing out their club sessions, two handfuls who are still finishing their winter sports seasons, and inevitably a handful of slackers. We're up to about 10 students who are out there and have never competed before. They can get themselves across the pool but not by any stroke recognized in the sport. The other head coach has taken them on. He's amazing with them and all of them have made huge improvements since last week. We have new kids almost every day that see us out there and come ask if they can join the team. It's very exciting. For the first time in my life I am seeing the stereotype of who participates in aquatics sports disappear. "One tiger, many stripes."
While he's working with the newbies I'm working with the rest of them. I was nervous about coaching the varsity kids before season began because I wasn't sure if I'd have enough to teach them to make a difference. If I had to sit down and write out what I know about swimming, the list probably wouldn't be very long. However, when I'm on the deck and watching them complete the sets I never seem to run out of things to say. I can point out things to every one of them. It's not that I'm being critical; we're focusing a lot on technique right now and trying to correct minor imperfections in order to shave off time in their races. I can't wait for the meets to start so that I can keep track of their times and see how things go. Two of my water polo boys are competing tomorrow at JOs (Junior Olympics). I should be there to watch them, but it's down in Bakersfield and I'm not quite sold on the idea of driving all the way down there for a 30 second race. Anyway, there's a lot of excitement ahead for the season.
I did have a minor fit on the pool deck earlier this week, but it was only in front of the coaches. Do you remember when you were little and wanted to do something, you'd ask whichever parent was more likely to say yes? And then often times they would tell you to go ask the other parent? My athletes know that game all too well. The problem is that the other head coach and I have different view points. When he was in high school, polo and swimming were his only concerns so he was 100% dedicated to it. I was more concerned with being a student and just did athletics for the fun of it. I loved it, but I wasn't looking to make a career out of it. I was committed to the team, but there were days when AP reviews and club activities and probably 100 other things also had to squeeze into my schedule. I understand that missing the first hour of practice to make up a test is an acceptable excuse. I want my athletes to be 4.0 students. The other coach wants their grades to be good, but he wants them at practice. So, I'm the easy going one and he's the strict one. I want to allow certain things but he often times has already told them no and so I have to be consistent as to not undermine his authority with them. My fit was this: "I'm not ready to be a parent." Can't say I know for certain, but I'm pretty sure that coaching is a lot like parenting. In my classroom I make the rules and that's that. On the pool deck I have to compromise on the rules and work every day at being consistent. He is already a parent so it's not a big deal to him. But me? Oh man this is a hard lesson to learn! That's the part of the job I don't like.
The good news is every day I am getting better at collaborating with other adults, being fair in the way I treat students, being clear in my expectations, consistent in my follow through, and my goodness I'm becoming incredibly patient. My job isn't just to teach young adults the knowledge and skills they need to know to move forward. My job is teaching me the knowledge and skills I need to know to move forward. That's pretty incredible. :)
This was week two of swim season. We've had 24 kids out at practice consistently. There are almost 60 names on my roster of students who have told me they want to join. Where are the rest of them? I have a handful who are still finishing out their club sessions, two handfuls who are still finishing their winter sports seasons, and inevitably a handful of slackers. We're up to about 10 students who are out there and have never competed before. They can get themselves across the pool but not by any stroke recognized in the sport. The other head coach has taken them on. He's amazing with them and all of them have made huge improvements since last week. We have new kids almost every day that see us out there and come ask if they can join the team. It's very exciting. For the first time in my life I am seeing the stereotype of who participates in aquatics sports disappear. "One tiger, many stripes."
While he's working with the newbies I'm working with the rest of them. I was nervous about coaching the varsity kids before season began because I wasn't sure if I'd have enough to teach them to make a difference. If I had to sit down and write out what I know about swimming, the list probably wouldn't be very long. However, when I'm on the deck and watching them complete the sets I never seem to run out of things to say. I can point out things to every one of them. It's not that I'm being critical; we're focusing a lot on technique right now and trying to correct minor imperfections in order to shave off time in their races. I can't wait for the meets to start so that I can keep track of their times and see how things go. Two of my water polo boys are competing tomorrow at JOs (Junior Olympics). I should be there to watch them, but it's down in Bakersfield and I'm not quite sold on the idea of driving all the way down there for a 30 second race. Anyway, there's a lot of excitement ahead for the season.
I did have a minor fit on the pool deck earlier this week, but it was only in front of the coaches. Do you remember when you were little and wanted to do something, you'd ask whichever parent was more likely to say yes? And then often times they would tell you to go ask the other parent? My athletes know that game all too well. The problem is that the other head coach and I have different view points. When he was in high school, polo and swimming were his only concerns so he was 100% dedicated to it. I was more concerned with being a student and just did athletics for the fun of it. I loved it, but I wasn't looking to make a career out of it. I was committed to the team, but there were days when AP reviews and club activities and probably 100 other things also had to squeeze into my schedule. I understand that missing the first hour of practice to make up a test is an acceptable excuse. I want my athletes to be 4.0 students. The other coach wants their grades to be good, but he wants them at practice. So, I'm the easy going one and he's the strict one. I want to allow certain things but he often times has already told them no and so I have to be consistent as to not undermine his authority with them. My fit was this: "I'm not ready to be a parent." Can't say I know for certain, but I'm pretty sure that coaching is a lot like parenting. In my classroom I make the rules and that's that. On the pool deck I have to compromise on the rules and work every day at being consistent. He is already a parent so it's not a big deal to him. But me? Oh man this is a hard lesson to learn! That's the part of the job I don't like.
The good news is every day I am getting better at collaborating with other adults, being fair in the way I treat students, being clear in my expectations, consistent in my follow through, and my goodness I'm becoming incredibly patient. My job isn't just to teach young adults the knowledge and skills they need to know to move forward. My job is teaching me the knowledge and skills I need to know to move forward. That's pretty incredible. :)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Naivety or Optimism?
I came here to talk politics but I got a little bit sidetracked.
Naivety- a noun coming from French etymology- the act of being naive
Naive- marked by unaffected simplicity (I like that one.)
- deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment (Ok that's me sometimes.)
- not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental
situation (That sounds about right.)
My point here is that naivety isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes I choose it because, like the first definition states, it's the simple route.
Anyway the intended purpose of this entry has to do, like I said, with politics. I want to talk about Meg Whitman for a moment. Usually I don't engage in political discussion. I choose naivety because I prefer to avoid arguments. Politics, my friends, seems to harbor arguments and negativity around every corner. However, as a functioning adult in our society I accept a certain responsibility of knowing what is going on and voicing my right to my opinion (ahem...voting). So for this entry, I am setting aside naivety and focusing on optimism. Not that they can't coexist, but in politics? Optimism isn't usually a term paralleled with the government.
Back to point. In my two days of health arrest, with my local-channels-only tv (I broke on the first day and ordered cable but it isn't coming until next weekend.)I have seen quite a few commercials on Meg Whitman. Might I say first of all, it is no secret that our state is in dire straights. We need a change, and although it's been said before, we need one fast. We cannot continue to live at the pace we are, in the direction we're going, and hope to continue on as the Golden State. We're far from it. So where does optimism fit into this dark picture? While I'll admit I'm not finished researching, so far I am impressed with the points that Meg makes. Her three areas of focus: create more jobs, decrease government spending, fix the educational system. Her focus has piqued my interest.
Create more jobs. Can you believe that we have the highest number of people living off welfare? Okay, so we have a higher population, but even when you compare by percentage we're still considerably higher than the rest. What happened to us that we moved from the Land of Opportunity, to the Land of Free Handouts? Nothing is free, it all comes at some cost. I know that I have a right to be upset about this as a working citizen who watches her pay check slip away each month. I know that a lot of you would probably agree with me on that. I wonder what people on welfare would have to say about this. What is their perspective? How many of them would prefer to be working, contributing members of society if they could? I would like to choose optimism here and assume that a lot of them would take a job if they had one. What is it then that is stopping them? Why do so many of them continue to live off welfare rather than take the steps to make a better life for themselves? I realize there is not one answer here and the solution is much much more difficult than my simple mind can understand, but something needs to be done. If Meg Whitman thinks she has the solution, then more power to her.
One of the things she mentions is to decrease the amount of time individuals are allowed to stay on welfare. Currently the system is set at five years but Meg admits, no one is enforcing that time limit. She not only wants to enforce it, but she wants to decrease it to two. Do you think two years of free help is long enough to get you back on your feet? I think it could be if we change the attitude. At the end of that time she wants to give individuals a choice between getting a job or getting their GED. Solution! So many people on the welfare system lack the proper education to qualify them for the work force. Let's help them get what they need to get on their feet. It sounds like a great idea to me. Someone who has seen this before, or who has more insight into government "ideas" please give some feedback on this approach. Educate us on the pros and cons.
Decrease government spending. I think that's a great idea but it seems to me that it's indirectly proportionate to the other two focus points. How can you create enough change, statewide, to get people off welfare without first investing a whole lot of money into changing the program? Perhaps the money necessary to educate people will be less than the money currently being spent on those extra three years they're allowed to live off the system? Does that mean college tuition might stop increasing then? Just throwing it out there, I'm really not sure. And how can you cut government jobs while improving the educational system? Public schools are government, teachers are government employees. Is she going to cut us? How is that going to improve education? More on that in a minute. One of her points in decreasing government spending is to take more of an interest in what is going on. She plans to veto more things and to personally oversee what is happening. She is a business woman and she plans to run our state like a business. There are a lot of booming businesses out there. I like the idea. Businesses don't run like charities. They work towards profit and cut the slackers. Maybe that's what we need.
Improve education. In my current place of employment I haven't seen the panic and despair that I know a lot of teachers are dealing with. I've been extremely fortunate to land a job in a district that has planned for bad times and to be in a branch of teaching that most people aren't interested in, thus keeping my job open. However, it brings great concern when I hear neighboring districts who plan to increase furlow days or release more than 100 employees next year. It makes sense when looking at the immediate budget that if the money isn't there, you have to decrease size. Standard business. But in the business world, if your company scales back due to budget, your output scales back too. How in the world does that make sense for public schools? I'm sorry ma'am, we cannot enroll your child in kindergarten this year because we had to cut back. Yes I know he's already 6 because he didn't get in last year either. Classes are already at maximum capacity, you should have applied sooner. Try back next year. Yeah right! And we circle right back to the welfare problem. So tell me, how are we going to cut back on teachers when we generally see an increase in number of students each year? I have 36 students in each period right now (down from 40-42 at the beginning of the year- students are allowed to move around from school to school at any time in my district). I have desks for 32 and even if there were more desks available I don't have any more floor space to put them. Please tell me what they would do with my 180 students if they decided to cut my position. I'm not complaining by any means. I love my students, I love my job, and we've figured out how to work out the details. I just don't understand the solution that people who aren't in the trenches of education come up with. Meg Whitman wants to address this. I'm happy to hear that someone is willing to face it directly rather than sweep it under the rug.
One of the suggestions she makes is to rate schools from A-F. We give our students letter grades every day. Why not give our schools a grade too? Schools that earn an "F" for three years in a row would automatically switch to being a charter school. Okay this one has caught my attention. My district superintendent in trying to open a charter school right now and there's been a lot of hype from the teacher's association about it. Is it coincidence that he launched his idea about one week before Meg Whitman's commercials went public on the idea? Seems kind of funny to me. Anyway, the major complaint I've heard about charter schools is that teachers can quit at any time, but they can be fired at any time too. That worries me for the sake of the student. A classroom with a revolving door of teachers all year long is not a classroom learning much. Surely there is more to this story than what I currently understand. Anyone else have an opinion on the matter? One benefit I can see with that detail is the ability to release dead beat teachers. I hate the tenure rule. I know it provides security and I know the union has gone to bat for teachers in the past in a positive way, but for the most part I see the union and tenure as a hindrance to our field. If I do my job correctly and I work for my students instead of for summer vacations, I shouldn't have to worry about being fired and I shouldn't need a union to support me. My work should speak for itself. How many of us have had horrible teachers who needed to retire or who just weren't qualified to teach, but the school was stuck with them because they were tenured? It's ridiculous. Charter schools, from what I understand, would have more flexibility to deal with that. I think that's a good thing.
I could probably go on talking but it's time to get ready for church. If you've read down to this point, my hope is that you now have a mouth full to say in response. Please post your opinions! I would love to discuss this matter further.
Have a great day!
Naivety- a noun coming from French etymology- the act of being naive
Naive- marked by unaffected simplicity (I like that one.)
- deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment (Ok that's me sometimes.)
- not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental
situation (That sounds about right.)
My point here is that naivety isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes I choose it because, like the first definition states, it's the simple route.
Anyway the intended purpose of this entry has to do, like I said, with politics. I want to talk about Meg Whitman for a moment. Usually I don't engage in political discussion. I choose naivety because I prefer to avoid arguments. Politics, my friends, seems to harbor arguments and negativity around every corner. However, as a functioning adult in our society I accept a certain responsibility of knowing what is going on and voicing my right to my opinion (ahem...voting). So for this entry, I am setting aside naivety and focusing on optimism. Not that they can't coexist, but in politics? Optimism isn't usually a term paralleled with the government.
Back to point. In my two days of health arrest, with my local-channels-only tv (I broke on the first day and ordered cable but it isn't coming until next weekend.)I have seen quite a few commercials on Meg Whitman. Might I say first of all, it is no secret that our state is in dire straights. We need a change, and although it's been said before, we need one fast. We cannot continue to live at the pace we are, in the direction we're going, and hope to continue on as the Golden State. We're far from it. So where does optimism fit into this dark picture? While I'll admit I'm not finished researching, so far I am impressed with the points that Meg makes. Her three areas of focus: create more jobs, decrease government spending, fix the educational system. Her focus has piqued my interest.
Create more jobs. Can you believe that we have the highest number of people living off welfare? Okay, so we have a higher population, but even when you compare by percentage we're still considerably higher than the rest. What happened to us that we moved from the Land of Opportunity, to the Land of Free Handouts? Nothing is free, it all comes at some cost. I know that I have a right to be upset about this as a working citizen who watches her pay check slip away each month. I know that a lot of you would probably agree with me on that. I wonder what people on welfare would have to say about this. What is their perspective? How many of them would prefer to be working, contributing members of society if they could? I would like to choose optimism here and assume that a lot of them would take a job if they had one. What is it then that is stopping them? Why do so many of them continue to live off welfare rather than take the steps to make a better life for themselves? I realize there is not one answer here and the solution is much much more difficult than my simple mind can understand, but something needs to be done. If Meg Whitman thinks she has the solution, then more power to her.
One of the things she mentions is to decrease the amount of time individuals are allowed to stay on welfare. Currently the system is set at five years but Meg admits, no one is enforcing that time limit. She not only wants to enforce it, but she wants to decrease it to two. Do you think two years of free help is long enough to get you back on your feet? I think it could be if we change the attitude. At the end of that time she wants to give individuals a choice between getting a job or getting their GED. Solution! So many people on the welfare system lack the proper education to qualify them for the work force. Let's help them get what they need to get on their feet. It sounds like a great idea to me. Someone who has seen this before, or who has more insight into government "ideas" please give some feedback on this approach. Educate us on the pros and cons.
Decrease government spending. I think that's a great idea but it seems to me that it's indirectly proportionate to the other two focus points. How can you create enough change, statewide, to get people off welfare without first investing a whole lot of money into changing the program? Perhaps the money necessary to educate people will be less than the money currently being spent on those extra three years they're allowed to live off the system? Does that mean college tuition might stop increasing then? Just throwing it out there, I'm really not sure. And how can you cut government jobs while improving the educational system? Public schools are government, teachers are government employees. Is she going to cut us? How is that going to improve education? More on that in a minute. One of her points in decreasing government spending is to take more of an interest in what is going on. She plans to veto more things and to personally oversee what is happening. She is a business woman and she plans to run our state like a business. There are a lot of booming businesses out there. I like the idea. Businesses don't run like charities. They work towards profit and cut the slackers. Maybe that's what we need.
Improve education. In my current place of employment I haven't seen the panic and despair that I know a lot of teachers are dealing with. I've been extremely fortunate to land a job in a district that has planned for bad times and to be in a branch of teaching that most people aren't interested in, thus keeping my job open. However, it brings great concern when I hear neighboring districts who plan to increase furlow days or release more than 100 employees next year. It makes sense when looking at the immediate budget that if the money isn't there, you have to decrease size. Standard business. But in the business world, if your company scales back due to budget, your output scales back too. How in the world does that make sense for public schools? I'm sorry ma'am, we cannot enroll your child in kindergarten this year because we had to cut back. Yes I know he's already 6 because he didn't get in last year either. Classes are already at maximum capacity, you should have applied sooner. Try back next year. Yeah right! And we circle right back to the welfare problem. So tell me, how are we going to cut back on teachers when we generally see an increase in number of students each year? I have 36 students in each period right now (down from 40-42 at the beginning of the year- students are allowed to move around from school to school at any time in my district). I have desks for 32 and even if there were more desks available I don't have any more floor space to put them. Please tell me what they would do with my 180 students if they decided to cut my position. I'm not complaining by any means. I love my students, I love my job, and we've figured out how to work out the details. I just don't understand the solution that people who aren't in the trenches of education come up with. Meg Whitman wants to address this. I'm happy to hear that someone is willing to face it directly rather than sweep it under the rug.
One of the suggestions she makes is to rate schools from A-F. We give our students letter grades every day. Why not give our schools a grade too? Schools that earn an "F" for three years in a row would automatically switch to being a charter school. Okay this one has caught my attention. My district superintendent in trying to open a charter school right now and there's been a lot of hype from the teacher's association about it. Is it coincidence that he launched his idea about one week before Meg Whitman's commercials went public on the idea? Seems kind of funny to me. Anyway, the major complaint I've heard about charter schools is that teachers can quit at any time, but they can be fired at any time too. That worries me for the sake of the student. A classroom with a revolving door of teachers all year long is not a classroom learning much. Surely there is more to this story than what I currently understand. Anyone else have an opinion on the matter? One benefit I can see with that detail is the ability to release dead beat teachers. I hate the tenure rule. I know it provides security and I know the union has gone to bat for teachers in the past in a positive way, but for the most part I see the union and tenure as a hindrance to our field. If I do my job correctly and I work for my students instead of for summer vacations, I shouldn't have to worry about being fired and I shouldn't need a union to support me. My work should speak for itself. How many of us have had horrible teachers who needed to retire or who just weren't qualified to teach, but the school was stuck with them because they were tenured? It's ridiculous. Charter schools, from what I understand, would have more flexibility to deal with that. I think that's a good thing.
I could probably go on talking but it's time to get ready for church. If you've read down to this point, my hope is that you now have a mouth full to say in response. Please post your opinions! I would love to discuss this matter further.
Have a great day!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Furniture to Come
I've already posted today but I'm going stir crazy quarantined at home. I hate being stuck on the couch, especially knowing that there are all kinds of fun things going on this weekend that I won't be attending. It's tough to sit here doing nothing while my body wages war. (That's the imagery I use with my students to discuss the immune system. Haha.)
On a more productive note, I've had lots of thinking time to figure out the layout of my apartment. It's going to take some will power but I want to buy things little by little so that I can budget for it, but also so that I buy things that I really like and that match with my theme. For my first time I am completely in charge of the decorating and outcome. What a responsibility! I have my vision and now I get to work towards my goal to get there. It's so exciting!
I went furniture shopping earlier this week. I love the pieces I picked out and cannot wait for them to arrive!!! It will be up to two more weeks before then so for now I'm practicing patience. My dad and youngest sister went with me, which is the only reason I did it in the first place. Otherwise, my plan was to make do with the random pieces I'd been given. It just doesn't seem practical to spend a bunch of money on new things if you already have something that will suffice. My family disagrees, which is lucky for me because I'm really looking forward to my new furniture! To my surprise it wasn't all that difficult to pick out what I wanted. I didn't have an idea of what I did want, but I knew what I didn't want. One by one I unselected everything in the store until I found the items that I liked best. Soon I will have a new sectional couch, a side table (not the corner ones that go by the couch but a decorative one that goes against the wall- I don't know what they're called), and a kitchen table. I have to admit, of all the pieces I am looking forward to my kitchen table the most.
Call me old fashioned but I have two household rules that I don't think I will ever change my outlook on. The first is that TVs don't belong in the bedroom. Let me just say, I'm not judging anyone. I've had a TV in my room for most of my life and so does just about everyone that I know. However, since I live by myself now I don't see the need for a TV in my room. Anyway, the second rule and the one that I stand firmly behind is that dinner should be eaten at the kitchen table. Again not judging, I don't always do this myself either. That said though, it should be no surprise that I am most excited to get a kitchen table. It is the centerpiece of the home; where family comes together and all of life's problems seem a little less overwhelming. I've decided that my dining room is going to be my starting focus. The warmth cultivated there will resonate through the rest of my apartment and everything will flow. It sounds silly, I know, but just wait until you see it and you'll understand. :)
On a more productive note, I've had lots of thinking time to figure out the layout of my apartment. It's going to take some will power but I want to buy things little by little so that I can budget for it, but also so that I buy things that I really like and that match with my theme. For my first time I am completely in charge of the decorating and outcome. What a responsibility! I have my vision and now I get to work towards my goal to get there. It's so exciting!
I went furniture shopping earlier this week. I love the pieces I picked out and cannot wait for them to arrive!!! It will be up to two more weeks before then so for now I'm practicing patience. My dad and youngest sister went with me, which is the only reason I did it in the first place. Otherwise, my plan was to make do with the random pieces I'd been given. It just doesn't seem practical to spend a bunch of money on new things if you already have something that will suffice. My family disagrees, which is lucky for me because I'm really looking forward to my new furniture! To my surprise it wasn't all that difficult to pick out what I wanted. I didn't have an idea of what I did want, but I knew what I didn't want. One by one I unselected everything in the store until I found the items that I liked best. Soon I will have a new sectional couch, a side table (not the corner ones that go by the couch but a decorative one that goes against the wall- I don't know what they're called), and a kitchen table. I have to admit, of all the pieces I am looking forward to my kitchen table the most.
Call me old fashioned but I have two household rules that I don't think I will ever change my outlook on. The first is that TVs don't belong in the bedroom. Let me just say, I'm not judging anyone. I've had a TV in my room for most of my life and so does just about everyone that I know. However, since I live by myself now I don't see the need for a TV in my room. Anyway, the second rule and the one that I stand firmly behind is that dinner should be eaten at the kitchen table. Again not judging, I don't always do this myself either. That said though, it should be no surprise that I am most excited to get a kitchen table. It is the centerpiece of the home; where family comes together and all of life's problems seem a little less overwhelming. I've decided that my dining room is going to be my starting focus. The warmth cultivated there will resonate through the rest of my apartment and everything will flow. It sounds silly, I know, but just wait until you see it and you'll understand. :)
Finding a Balance
This week was a busy one. It's not surprising that I've been home on the couch with the stomach flu for the past 36 hours. Typical. I don't slow down so my body just sweeps me off my feet for a while. Happens every so often. A huge damper on the social events I had planned for the weekend. Happy birthday Chad! Even so, it doesn't mask my excitement about things going on at work.
I'm starting this blog for probably the same reason anyone else does. I have a lot to say and I'm looking for somewhere to say it. Usually I like to keep my personal life somewhat private, but writing things out isn't the same as telling them. There are no limits. So read on if you wish, or not. Completely up to you. It's the process of the act that I'm seeking.
Finding a Balance is the title today. There was a lot that came about this week; many new and exciting opportunities with my job, and my head is spinning with ideas. The problem: my mental eagerness (thoughts, ideas, and intentions) often out compete my physical and emotional strength. Hence the flu. No panic attacks or breakdowns though. I am getting stronger!
Where to start? Let's take the emotional side first. I just finished teaching a 9 day unit on cancer. I started piecing my thoughts together on the new unit back in November. I just felt that it was an important topic to address since cancer is the Black Plague of today. Where else would my students learn the cellular aspect of the disease and be equipped with the knowledge to understand it better, if not in Biology class? I figured almost every one of them probably knows someone who has dealt with the illness, and those who haven't at least know what it is. I had no idea back then what was in store for me this semester. To make a long story short, from start to finish I had four different students approach me privately to explain that one of their parents is currently battling cancer. Leukemia, liver cancer, brain tumor, lymphoma. How horrible that my 15 year old students have to experience such pain with people so close to them at such a crucial age of development. As if there aren't enough social pressures to keep their minds occupied from day to day. My heart breaks for them. It was by His grace that we all made it through that unit, but I'm determined now more than ever to improve the efficiency of the unit and continue teaching it from year to year.
Last week I received an email out of the blue inviting me to a Cancer Seminar next month. The one in California is being held at Santa Clara University. The organization sponsoring it received a grant to teach two different classes on the subject to high school instructors who want to incorporate it into their classrooms. Is it a coincidence that something so perfectly correlated to what I was doing at that exact time came my way? I think not. Since the program is grant funded, there is no cost to me other than traveling expenses. I signed up, told them my story, and was accepted. I'm really looking forward to it.
I received another email last week from one of our counselors about another seminar for GATE teachers. For those of you unaware, GATE stands for gifted and talented education. That is the level of the Biology course I teach. My academic challenge with them is keeping the high level achievers moving quickly enough through material to remain engaged. It's a daily battle. Anyway, this seminar teaches teachers how to do that and all kinds of tricks to improve curriculum. It sounds like a great course, but it's through UC Irvine and the cost of units I could earn from it are 4 times more expensive than what I have paid for units so far through USD, FPU, CSUF, and LMU. Besides that, it would also require quite a few extra hours of follow up work to earn just one unit. Although it's definitely not all about the unit gain, I can't quite justify joining when I have so many other things going on. Finding a Balance.
Third email this past week came from a representative at Fresno State. She said I've been identified by one of my administrators as a good candidate for their Masters in Leadership and Administration program. They're only accepting 18 candidates into the program. Since the university pairs up with my school district to foster better teachers and leaders, my cost for earning that particular masters degree would only be $2,500. That's incredible! The problem is that the program runs for 12 months from start to finish. It's 34 units with 15 class hours per unit plus field work. This year I'm coaching two sports, teaching two different classes, a member of the AVID site team, the adviser for Aquatics Club, and in my first year of BTSA course work. Next year will be similar. I fully intend to earn my masters degree and this program seems like a doorway that has opened right in front of me, but I just can't manage it at this time. I'm hoping to apply for the 2011-2012 class. Two years from now I could have my masters degree! The ideas make my head spin.
The final thing I have to say is about my administrators' plans for me next school year. The district is pushing to enroll more students in AP courses. I have mixed feelings about that, but at the end of the day what the district wants, the district gets. The best response is to go along with them and make it work to the best of my ability. So I've been approached four times now from an administrator about teaching an AP class next year. I haven't made the commitment yet, in fact up until this week I was pretty set on not doing it. Then I was told that my name keeps coming up in their conversations and that they've been told by my colleagues and by students that I should teach it. That was very rewarding to hear. I mentioned that I have some concerns about it and want to sit down with them to talk details. I still have one more year of BTSA and I love teaching both of my current classes. I don't want to give up either one of them, but I don't know if I could take on three different classes next year. Anyway, that's the latest dilemma. My administration has said that they will pay for all the training necessary to become AP certified. I guess they really want me to do it. It would be a great opportunity and it is a goal I had for myself since I first decided to pursue teaching. The perfectionist side of me just isn't sure yet that I'm qualified enough to do a good job. I have more thinking to do on that...
Well I suppose this is long enough. If you've made it this far, you must be quite a friend to listen so long. I'm going back to bed now. Pray that my stomach stops doing cartwheels. Have a fantastic day!
I'm starting this blog for probably the same reason anyone else does. I have a lot to say and I'm looking for somewhere to say it. Usually I like to keep my personal life somewhat private, but writing things out isn't the same as telling them. There are no limits. So read on if you wish, or not. Completely up to you. It's the process of the act that I'm seeking.
Finding a Balance is the title today. There was a lot that came about this week; many new and exciting opportunities with my job, and my head is spinning with ideas. The problem: my mental eagerness (thoughts, ideas, and intentions) often out compete my physical and emotional strength. Hence the flu. No panic attacks or breakdowns though. I am getting stronger!
Where to start? Let's take the emotional side first. I just finished teaching a 9 day unit on cancer. I started piecing my thoughts together on the new unit back in November. I just felt that it was an important topic to address since cancer is the Black Plague of today. Where else would my students learn the cellular aspect of the disease and be equipped with the knowledge to understand it better, if not in Biology class? I figured almost every one of them probably knows someone who has dealt with the illness, and those who haven't at least know what it is. I had no idea back then what was in store for me this semester. To make a long story short, from start to finish I had four different students approach me privately to explain that one of their parents is currently battling cancer. Leukemia, liver cancer, brain tumor, lymphoma. How horrible that my 15 year old students have to experience such pain with people so close to them at such a crucial age of development. As if there aren't enough social pressures to keep their minds occupied from day to day. My heart breaks for them. It was by His grace that we all made it through that unit, but I'm determined now more than ever to improve the efficiency of the unit and continue teaching it from year to year.
Last week I received an email out of the blue inviting me to a Cancer Seminar next month. The one in California is being held at Santa Clara University. The organization sponsoring it received a grant to teach two different classes on the subject to high school instructors who want to incorporate it into their classrooms. Is it a coincidence that something so perfectly correlated to what I was doing at that exact time came my way? I think not. Since the program is grant funded, there is no cost to me other than traveling expenses. I signed up, told them my story, and was accepted. I'm really looking forward to it.
I received another email last week from one of our counselors about another seminar for GATE teachers. For those of you unaware, GATE stands for gifted and talented education. That is the level of the Biology course I teach. My academic challenge with them is keeping the high level achievers moving quickly enough through material to remain engaged. It's a daily battle. Anyway, this seminar teaches teachers how to do that and all kinds of tricks to improve curriculum. It sounds like a great course, but it's through UC Irvine and the cost of units I could earn from it are 4 times more expensive than what I have paid for units so far through USD, FPU, CSUF, and LMU. Besides that, it would also require quite a few extra hours of follow up work to earn just one unit. Although it's definitely not all about the unit gain, I can't quite justify joining when I have so many other things going on. Finding a Balance.
Third email this past week came from a representative at Fresno State. She said I've been identified by one of my administrators as a good candidate for their Masters in Leadership and Administration program. They're only accepting 18 candidates into the program. Since the university pairs up with my school district to foster better teachers and leaders, my cost for earning that particular masters degree would only be $2,500. That's incredible! The problem is that the program runs for 12 months from start to finish. It's 34 units with 15 class hours per unit plus field work. This year I'm coaching two sports, teaching two different classes, a member of the AVID site team, the adviser for Aquatics Club, and in my first year of BTSA course work. Next year will be similar. I fully intend to earn my masters degree and this program seems like a doorway that has opened right in front of me, but I just can't manage it at this time. I'm hoping to apply for the 2011-2012 class. Two years from now I could have my masters degree! The ideas make my head spin.
The final thing I have to say is about my administrators' plans for me next school year. The district is pushing to enroll more students in AP courses. I have mixed feelings about that, but at the end of the day what the district wants, the district gets. The best response is to go along with them and make it work to the best of my ability. So I've been approached four times now from an administrator about teaching an AP class next year. I haven't made the commitment yet, in fact up until this week I was pretty set on not doing it. Then I was told that my name keeps coming up in their conversations and that they've been told by my colleagues and by students that I should teach it. That was very rewarding to hear. I mentioned that I have some concerns about it and want to sit down with them to talk details. I still have one more year of BTSA and I love teaching both of my current classes. I don't want to give up either one of them, but I don't know if I could take on three different classes next year. Anyway, that's the latest dilemma. My administration has said that they will pay for all the training necessary to become AP certified. I guess they really want me to do it. It would be a great opportunity and it is a goal I had for myself since I first decided to pursue teaching. The perfectionist side of me just isn't sure yet that I'm qualified enough to do a good job. I have more thinking to do on that...
Well I suppose this is long enough. If you've made it this far, you must be quite a friend to listen so long. I'm going back to bed now. Pray that my stomach stops doing cartwheels. Have a fantastic day!
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