Decisions

Today was finals for our league meet. Halfway through the meet they took a break for the coaches relay. Each team was supposed to participate. It was a medley which means four people each swam 50 yards- one for each of the four strokes. I took backstroke by default; no one else wanted to swim it. And I got killed. Did I mention I got killed? Ugh so embarrassing. I raced against three guys. One of them swims masters, meaning he goes to actual swim practice before work each morning. The other one is a dedicated gym member, workout plan and all, who has been practicing for today for weeks. The final one lives for swim. And I thought this was just something fun for our athletes. Oh man my stomach was in knots. I miss participating but oh how I had forgotten about how it gets to me. On the up side, I was also nervous about my athletes critiquing me after the fact. I've spent the last four months fine-tuning their strokes and today they all watched me. Luckily none of them said anything. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe they felt sorry for me since I lost. We'll see what comes out on Monday.

I need to get away from the high school world for a bit.

We have five more days of practice and then we head down for playoffs next Saturday. I'm having a lot of difficulty motivating my kids at this point in the season. I can't say I blame them. We've been at it since Feb 1st and swimming isn't exactly the most exciting sport. To make things worse, playoffs are the same day as prom. If getting them to compete for one more week was a difficult task, taking them out of town the morning and afternoon of prom for the last competition is almost impossible. I am so worn out of making them do things they don't want to and being the rule enforcer. I don't know how parents do what they do day in and day out, without an off season. Speaking of off season, water polo starts this week.

To coach or not to coach? I thought I'd made up my mind not to coach polo this upcoming season. My parents never believed it and the other coaches never accepted it. Guess the only one I had convinced was myself, but I've even changed my mind. I want to do it because I like being involved, I love the rush of the crazy schedule, I want to stick with my freshmen and be part of their growth, I want to continue to develop in the sport and be better at it this year, and I enjoy hanging out with the other coaches. I don't want to do it because it takes up so much of my time that I almost reach the point of going crazy. I'm afraid it takes too much away from my real job and I don't feel qualified enough to do it. If I don't coach I will have more time to develop my professional skills, to focus on my students, and to plan out swim season for next year (I'm not giving that up.) At the same time, it's mostly the same kids that participate in polo and swim. I would hate to make them feel like I'm giving up on them. I don't know what to do.

I went out of town last weekend with some amazing friends. It was the perfect weekend get-away. One conversation in particular brought up hobbies. In discussion, I realized I don't really have much to say about them anymore. I don't know what I do outside of teaching and coaching. Even my social life revolves around those two things now. That can't be healthy. So I'm in search of some hobbies. This summer I'm taking a break from teaching. I may or may not be taking a break from coaching (depending on what happens with polo) but even so it won't take up all my time. I need something new to shift my focus to. Any ideas? Suggestions welcomed. :)