Living with Character

If you had to list five characteristics of yourself, what would you say? Could you say them with certainty? Do you think they change throughout life? At what point can you really decide on five solid traits?

The actual growing up part of my life didn't start until college. I'd faced struggles before, but that was the first time in my life that I faced change completely on my own. I no longer had my parents by my side at the end of each day to step in if things outgrew what I thought I could manage. I had to figure it out. I no longer had my friends by my side, who I'd known for most of my life, who really knew me without having to ask questions. I was in a new world where questions were lined up at the door and I was standing there alone, without all the familiar things surrounding me that I had, for a lifetime at that point, identified with as making me, me. There was no one to hide behind or look to for answers. In college, I had to figure out the road alone.

I spent a lot of time in those short four years discovering who I was, then contemplating who I wanted to be, then modifying what I was, and finally just accepting the person I had been all along.

There are certain traits I have possessed through life as far back as I can remember. Those are the ones I resent from time to time and the ones I've tried, to no avail, to change. They are the traits that become my label no matter how many different groups of friends I make or how many different cities I live in. They make me me. At what point do we fully release any ideas of changing ourselves and just learn to love who we are?

I'm not saying I resent myself or the life that I live. Far from it; I think I've been incredibly blessed with a great life and I'm happy with the person I've become. But, there is that little spark inside me that never goes out; that spark that keeps me striving for more, keeps me standing in the road to change and keeps me looking for what's ahead. In my church there is a well known saying, "God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to keep you there." If that phrase doesn't speak to you then maybe you've heard this next one. It's a pretty popular quote- we even have it painted on the wall of our locker room at the pool. It states, "Shoot for the moon, even if you fall you'll land among the stars." Whether a natural instinct or a God-inspired drive, we all have that spark that keeps us working for more. We know we aren't perfect, we know we never will be, but we don't stop striving for it throughout our lives.

I've gone a little off track here but let me pull it all together. Think back to those five traits. Which of them are characteristics that really identify who you are? They make you you, clear down to the core. Maybe they're things that you've resented from time to time and tried to shake at various phases of life. Maybe they're things that you identified years ago and have learned to cherish through the good and the bad. Now separate them out. Which ones are genuine traits? I mean traits that would stick with you even if you were picked up this very second and dropped off in some other city, of some other country, on some other continent where you had to start all over from scratch. My life's journeys this far have taught me that no matter where you go and no matter who you do life with, those traits will find a way to shine through. I don't think that means we have to like them all the time, I sure resent mine on occasion, but we do have to recognize them as our own. For that fact, I think it's okay to work towards change and to allow that spark to burn. No matter what experiences life brings, no matter what goals we might set our hearts to, we don't really change all that much down at our core. It's our connection to our past and to each other as we live out our own paths of life.

So here's to us! May we learn to love the little details that make us who we are and may we cherish each other for them, even while we strive to grow.